B2 Lesson 3: Revising for Clarity, Coherence, Organization, and Style
You have completed a first draft of your essay—a fantastic achievement! Now, before we look for small grammar and spelling mistakes, we must complete the most important step: revising1.
Revising is not the same as editing. Revising means looking at the "big picture"—your ideas, your organization, and your clarity—to make your argument as strong and effective as possible.
Revising vs. Editing: A Crucial Difference
Always revise first. There is no point editing a sentence for perfect grammar if you might delete that sentence during revision!
| Revising (Big Picture) | Editing (Small Details) |
|---|---|
| Are my ideas clear and logical? | Are my sentences grammatically correct? |
| Is my argument well-supported? | Is the spelling correct? |
| Is the organization effective? | Is the punctuation correct? |
| Is the style engaging? | Is the formatting correct? |
Revising in Action: Improving a First Draft
Let's look at a first draft of a paragraph and see how we can revise it to be much stronger.
First Draft (Okay, but could be better):
The internet is very important for students. Students use it to do research for their homework. They can find information easily. This is better than a library because the internet is faster.
Revised Draft (Stronger and Clearer ✅):
Unquestionably, the internet has revolutionized education for the modern student. (Style: Stronger topic sentence). Primarily, it serves as an invaluable tool for research. (Clarity: Clearer transition). Instead of spending hours searching through books in a library, a student can access a vast range of international journals and articles in just a few seconds. (Content: More specific example). This instant access to global information allows for a much deeper and more comprehensive understanding of any topic. (Content: Better explanation).
✍️ B2 Revising Checklist
When you revise your draft, focus on these four big areas:
- ✔️ Clarity & Coherence: Is my main argument clear in every paragraph? Does my text flow logically from one point to the next?
- ✔️ Organization: Is my introduction engaging? Is each body paragraph well-structured (P.E.E.L.)? Does my conclusion summarize my points effectively?
- ✔️ Content & Development: Have I provided strong enough evidence and examples? Is my explanation detailed enough to be convincing?
- ✔️ Style & Word Choice: Have I varied my sentence structure? Could I replace "boring" words (like 'good', 'bad', 'big') with more vivid, powerful vocabulary?
🧠 Practice Quiz: Identify the Weakness
Read the short paragraph below. What is its biggest weakness that needs to be fixed during revision?
Paragraph:
In my opinion, owning a car in Phnom Penh is a bad idea. Cars are expensive. The traffic is bad. Finding a parking space is difficult.
- The spelling is incorrect.
- The paragraph is not well-developed and lacks detailed explanation.
- The topic sentence is unclear.
Answer: B. The paragraph is just a list of points. It lacks development. A good revision would add evidence and explanation (P.E.E.L.) to make the argument more convincing.
📝 Homework: Revise Your Own Work
It's time to become a critical reader of your own writing. Take the first draft of the essay you wrote in our last lesson.
Your Task:
Read your draft carefully, using the B2 Revising Checklist. Your goal is to find "big picture" ways to improve it.
In your notebook, rewrite at least one of your body paragraphs to make it stronger. You could:
- Add a better example or stronger evidence.
- Add more detailed explanation to make your point more convincing.
- Combine sentences or change your vocabulary to improve the style and flow.
Write the "before" and "after" versions so you can see your improvement!
Vocabulary Glossary
- To revise: (Verb) - កែសម្រួល (ខ្លឹមសារ) - To re-examine and make changes to a text in order to improve its ideas, organization, and clarity. ↩
- To edit: (Verb) - កែសម្រួល (វេយ្យាករណ៍) - To check for and correct errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. ↩
- Clarity: (Noun) - ភាពច្បាស់លាស់ - The quality of being easy to understand. ↩
- Style (writing): (Noun) - ស្ទីល - The particular way a writer uses language; their choice of words and sentence structure. ↩
- Systematic: (Adjective) - តាមប្រព័ន្ធ - Done according to a fixed plan or system; methodical.